alex chow

Day 9- Something you’re currently worrying about

By the way, Paul was offended by today’s video so you might not want to watch it. It’s in the spirit of the topic, but I’m worried you’ll find it distasteful. Great movie though.

I’ve been worrying a lot since I was a little kid so now I have all these wrinkles and frown marks. I grow my hair long to cover them up so I can look younger (this is something I worry about). Things I worry about are, but aren’t limited to soil erosion, deforestation, Colony Collapse Disorder, being drafted, global warming, Parkinson’s Disease, Osteoporosis, earthquakes, money, mercury poisoning, identity theft, oral hygiene, etc. I worrying about aging, having all my teeth fall out, losing control of my bladder functions, and being so sick to the point where I’m just lying in pain on a hospital bed waiting to die. I worry about growing up and growing apart from my friends because they’re all busy providing for their families and whatnot. I worry about making a living of my own. Even though I’ve told myself I’m good with making just enough for me to do what I love and not die from it, I really want to be able to send cash back to my parents so they have something to show off. Coming from a privileged background, I’ve grown to think that the superficial images of success (exotic cars, big houses, fake boobs, expensive jewelry, designer handbags) especially matter to immigrants, which is understandable, since they’re judged both by the people around them and relatives and friends in their home country. I’m worried about embarrassing them when their acquaintances talk about how much money their kids make and I don’t want them to regret letting me do what I love. I’m worried that I’m not spending my youth wisely (carpe diem and all). I kind of enjoy sitting quietly in my room, but I don’t know if I should be doing more stupid things that are more socially acceptable at my current age. I worry about my likability maybe too much, to the point where most people just make me feel really uncomfortable. I’m worried that I’m missing some kind of crucial instinct because I’m not sure how to tell how people are feeling most of the time and I’m not sure what to do or say when someone’s upset. I’m worried that my weekend art studio employers will start seeing me as incompetent because I truly do not draw super great. I try very hard and erase a lot so my own stuff doesn’t look bad. I’m sometimes scared to draw for students ‘cause I’m afraid of messing up their drawing so I tell them to try harder sometimes when they ask for help. I don’t feel that I’m super qualified to be teaching at a studio, but I need cash. I’m worried that they’ll read this and I’m worried that you’re getting sick of reading this so I will stop.